INTERVIEW | HEIDI SZE: NURTURING YOUR NEW LIFE
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BY JESSICA BOSCO
Too often the image of new motherhood is presented to us as a glorious bubble of nesting, baby cuddles and Insta-worthy nurseries. The reality is that it is messy, chaotic, challenging and more often than not it doesn’t go according to plan. Many new mothers find themselves overwhelmed when this time isn’t what they imagined or hoped it would be and they are often left feeling overwhelmed, confused, tired and rundown. Not enough focus or education is placed on the birth of the mother, both the psychological and physiological shift that occurs to the woman.
Perinatal dietician Heidi Sze was used to seeing women who felt utterly depleted in the months and years after birth due to the phenomenal changes that occur when we grow, birth and nourish a baby. The body needs rest and nourishment to recover and replenish nutrient stores and help fuel those long days after wakeful nights. After realising that this simply wasn’t happening for most mums, Heidi wrote her book, Nurturing Your New Life, to help new mothers navigate this magical yet challenging season of life.
While no two mums (or babies) are the same, and so you can never fully prepare for how this time in your life will play out, but you can arm yourself with the tools to give yourself the best possible chance of making a smooth, positive transition into motherhood.
“We can work on tuning in to our body by mindfully paying attention to how we’re feeling,” says Heidi. “We can work on adjusting our expectations and treat ourselves kindly, with compassion and acceptance. We can educate ourselves on our baby’s cognitive and physical development, as well as normal infant sleep behaviour. And we can seek support to ensure our needs are being met.”
We sat down with Heidi to pick her brain more on matrescence; the process of becoming a mother, ways to help nurture your body during those all-consuming early days and a little about her own experience of motherhood.
Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do?
My name is Heidi Sze. I am a mother of two children, a 4-year-old and a 1-year-old. At the moment I spend most of my time with my kids, however, I also work as a perinatal dietitian, which means I support women throughout their pregnancies and postnatally (though I also work with women and their partners in the lead up to conception, and well beyond the first year after birth). I also develop recipes for ABC Life and am now an author, too.
You’ve recently released your first book, Nurturing Your New Life. Can you tell us a little bit about that?
The tagline of my book is ‘words & recipes for the new mother’. In its pages you’ll find ideas about the type of support you may benefit from as you experience matresence - that is, as you enter into motherhood. It also includes personal stories from my motherhood transition and recipes to help you nourish yourself during pregnancy and after birth. I wrote Nurturing Your New Life while pregnant with my second baby, as I was preparing to, once again, enter into the newborn bubble. It was incredibly apt timing, as it helped keep everything grounded, authentic and approachable.
What do you hope readers take away from your book?
I hope they feel compelled to be kind to themselves. You can’t ever fully prepare for new motherhood - it’s something you just need to experience - but I would love parents-to-be to come away with realistic expectations of themselves and their baby; to know the value of self-compassion and acceptance, and to prioritise nourishment and rest in the postnatal period.
Image: Supplied
Where does your passion for pre-and post-natal wellbeing come from?
I have always been fascinated by pregnancy and what a woman’s body goes through as she grows and births a baby, but I became intensely passionate about it all (particularly postnatal care) after the birth of my first child.
You’re particularly passionate about pre-and post-natal diet, can you tell us about why it’s so important to nurturing new mums from the inside?
Growing, birthing and breastfeeding a baby are tremendous acts that require so much from a woman’s body; a nutrient-dense diet can help maintain our wellbeing and avoid depletion. Whatever struggles we may experience postnatally (be it sleep disruption, hormonal fluctuations and/or mood disorders), they will be that much more challenging if we don’t feed ourselves well. This means eating foods that are FULL of nutrients (such as vegetables, oily fish, eggs, etc) and ensuring you’re eating enough (i.e. not restricting yourself), as well as taking quality nutritional supplements as indicated. In my book I speak more about the type of foods and supplements women may benefit from pre- and postnatally, however, I always recommend seeing a health care professional for personalised advice, particularly regarding supplements.
What is your best advice for busy new mums to help prioritise their health and wellbeing?
If I could encourage new mums to do one thing, it would be to tune in to their needs - to pause and pay attention (mindfully, without judgement) to their mind and body. Checking-in in this way helps us to recognise the type of care we need (rest? Food? A hug? All of the above?). During the newborn days, fitting in basic self-care can be surprisingly challenging, yet, it can make such a difference to how we feel overall.
Tuning in to our mind and body also helps us to recognise that we feel best when we eat certain foods (note: what this looks like will vary from person to person, as no two bodies and circumstances are the same). Once we acknowledge this and identify what foods make us feel nourished, we can strive to ensure these foods are available (such as by batch cooking or asking loved ones to prepare them).
What about some of your go-to recipes/ingredients for postpartum?
I love vegetables, so hearty and warming vegetable soups, vegetable casseroles and dhal are some of my favourites. I love to add a big handful of leafy green vegetables to my meals right before serving, along with a squeeze of lemon and sprinkle of sea salt. If you’re a meat eater you may like to add some slow-cooking cuts to stews and soups for a valuable hit of iron, protein and B vitamins. I also love roasted vegetables and always have some on hand in the fridge for fast meals, such as roasted veg + eggs, legumes or canned fish. I’m a big fan of stock made from animal bones, and I use this in casseroles, soups and curries, as well as when cooking grains. I also love dates (always, though particularly postnatally). There’s a recipe in my book for dates cooked in ghee with cinnamon and ginger. I add them to my porridge and they’re completely delicious.
Finding time to eat healthy as a mum can often be difficult, do you have any meal prep tips or tricks you use and swear by?
Try to identify a time during the week when you can set aside an hour (or however long you can) to prep. Write out what you want to get done ahead of time and make sure you’ve got the food you need in the fridge/pantry, so that when that time comes, you can put on some music and smash it out.
Can you tell us a little bit about your own motherhood journey?
Yes, for sure. I had been on the pill for 10 years when a friend told me it took her 6 months to get her cycle back once she stopped taking the pill. To me that seemed like an eternity, so I decided to get off it even though my husband and I weren’t keen to have kids for a couple of years yet. Well, my cycle never returned. I tried lots of things to get it back (such as acupuncture, herbs and gaining weight) and saw an OBGYN who performed some investigations to rule out conditions such as PCOS. All along I assumed my cycle would eventually come back, but my husband and I started getting clucky at that point, and so, almost two years after coming off the pill, I started taking a medication called clomid. And it worked really well for me - it made me ovulate and we conceived on the first go.
It was a beautiful pregnancy, I was really lucky in that way. I mean, I felt hungover for the first 18 weeks and gagged at the sight of vegetables, but it wasn’t too bad, and eventually I felt well again. I love being pregnant. And I was so excited to give birth! We did a hypnobirthing course, which was fantastic. My baby was breech, however, so I spent the final trimester trying to get her to flip head down. Nothing worked, but in the end she came spontaneously and fast and I was able to have my skilled OB deliver her vaginally. I had read Ina May Gaskin’s guide to breastfeeding during pregnancy (as well as her guide to childbirth, which I highly recommend), but that was the extent of my postnatal preparation. I wish I had done more!
How did you find the shift to the role of mum?
Initially, I was shocked at how all-consuming motherhood was - from the love I felt for my daughter, to how much she needed me. It was intense! But I had incredible support. My husband was right there with me, especially in the beginning when we were figuring it all out and dealing with sleep deprivation. And my parents were amazing, too - dropping off food, folding laundry, cleaning the house, etc.
In terms of an identity shift, I didn’t find this to be particularly challenging. And I think that’s because, besides the fact that I was caring for a small human, there wasn’t a huge difference to my days’ pre and post-baby. I was already working alone and for myself before I had my daughter. And while I valued the work I was doing, my career was never my main driving force in life; I’ve always found more fulfilment in caring for my loved ones. So I felt at home in my new role - more fulfilled than ever, I’d say.
How do you manage to make your mum life and working life mesh?
I don’t work a lot. And when I do work, I have great flexibility and family support, for which I am exceedingly grateful!
In terms of my dietetic work (which I am not currently doing), I’ve avoided taking on too many clients and I only work via Skype, which is incredibly convenient not only for me but for my clients. I also stopped taking on new clients when I got my book deal (which happened the same week I found out I was pregnant with my second child). In terms of when I would see clients or write, I would fit it in throughout the week when my daughter was being looked after by my mother, father or mother-in-law, as well as on the weekends when my husband was home. Now the book is written and my son is one, I am hopeful I can start taking on new clients soon. I expect I’ll fit this in on the weekend when my husband can be with the kids.
In terms of my recipe development work, I make notes here and there during the day - jotting down ideas and writing shopping lists. And then I test the recipes in the lead up to dinner time. My column is all about easy weeknight dinners, so it has to pass the test of ‘can I cook this while my kids are tired and potentially hangry?’ I don’t do this every night, and certainly not the first one or two times I trial a recipe (as I need to focus/make notes), but as much as possible.
Has becoming a mum changed your approach to your career and your business?
It’s helped me filter out what I want to invest time in and what I don’t. Narrowing my field of practice to pre- and postnatal nutrition (which I did after taking maternity leave for the first time) was the best decision, career-wise.
What do you struggle with the most being a working mum?
I am incredibly privileged in that I don’t have many struggles in this area. I don’t work a lot and when I do need to work, most of the time my family are able to be with my kids. I also don’t have the financial pressure to work a certain amount, as the bulk of our financial needs are taken care of by the work my husband does. When we decided to have kids, the decision about who would be present with them during the day was an easy one; I was able to pause my career and I wanted to do so, while my husband couldn’t easily take a break and also didn’t want to. He has also always earned more than me. And so, by choice and privilege, I am not currently working outside of my mother role very much. Nevertheless, my personal work struggle is finding time to tick things off my list when my baby naps, as both my kids have never taken particularly long naps.
What is your best advice for news mums especially for the fourth trimester phase?
I would say rest when you can. Sleeping is great, but I’ve always been a terrible napper, so I understand if you can’t. Resting can simply mean relaxing in bed or on the couch while snuggling your baby. I would also say accept help when it is offered to you and seek it out if it’s not offered to you. If you’re financially able, hire a postpartum doula or a cleaner. Rest, snuggle your baby and eat!
What is your ultimate mum-hack?
Understanding my child’s development has made me a better mother and helped me enjoy motherhood more. Books by Daniel Siegel and Janet Lansbury (Janet’s podcast is amazing) helped me put myself in my baby/toddler/preschooler’s shoes and feel compassion for them. We’re faced with so many challenging behaviours as parents (from waking in the night to tantrums), and if you’re aware of why they may be behaving in a certain way, you can more easily nurture your children without constantly feeling frustrated, confused or concerned.
What is the biggest lesson you’ve learnt about motherhood?
How much love and acceptance my children need, and how good it feels to give it to them, even when they’re challenging me.
What is your favourite thing about being a mum?
Being their person, the one who makes them feel secure. It’s never lost on me how much of a privilege that is.
Nurturing Your New Life by Heidi Sze is published by HarperCollins Australia and is now available in all good bookstores and online. You can also follow Heidi on Instagram @heidiapples and online at applesundermybed.com